Top 5/ Bottom 3

Top5-Bottom3 is Hard Knox Sports Week in Review, counting down the best and worst of the last 7 days:

Top 5

1)   Olympic Hockey: While the average American may not be able to name five NHL players (don’t worry most Americans can’t name their two senators either), ratings for hockey in the 2010 games have been off the chain. NBC relegated the Feb. 21 game to MSNBC where it pulled the 2^nd highest ratings in the network’s history (barely behind election night 2008).

A US/ Canada rematch in the gold medal round is projected to be the highest rated hockey game since the “Miracle on Ice”. 

2)   The Ricky Gervais Show: Don’t know why, but we can’t stop giggling when this show’s on. Karl Pilkington is the new Kenny Powers

3)   Women’s Hockey Celebrations: The scene was as bizarre as it was overblown. Grown women sprawled out across the ice in partial uniform like a bunch of winos. Btw, anyone know where we can procure one of those magnums of Molson Canadian? The fine people at Pabst could learn a thing or two about packaging from those canucks.

4)   Upsets: First, Tennessee shocked Kentucky. Then Oklahoma State dropped Kansas. Syracuse’s big win over Nova should propel them to a number 1 ranking even if Purdue figures out a way to beat Michigan State without Robby Hummel. Side note: Doesn’t this just fell like the type of year where Tom Izzo’s team outplays its talent level and wins the whole thing?

5)   Cheryl Bernard: Our fave curling cougar has been all over sports radio and the blogosphere over the last week. She gets dropped a few spots down the list for being all uppity about going nude. Aren’t Canadian’s supposed to have a more European outlook to these types of things?

Bottom 3

1)   Pawksatawny (sp?) Phil: Screw this guy! Screw winter! We’re one more sub-freezing day from declaring out-right jihad on all groundhogs (much in the way that we have spiders and driving west of Cedar Bluff between the months of April and November). On two different days over the last week, it was colder in Atlanta than it was in Boston. We live in the south for three reasons: 1) warm weather, 2) grits, 3) high number of friends per-capita that will install a fuel-pump on a Chevy pro-bono. Cold weather was not part of the deal.

2)   Vajazzling: We are hetero, so we’re cool with pretty much anything that Jennifer Love Hewitt does with her vagina, that said, why she needs to Lady Gaga-ify her lady business is beyond us. This is, by far, the worst fad since skinny jeans. Of course, they were only worn by dudes that wear eye shadow and women with coke problems.

This is only the latest in a long line of issues that we’ve had with women and their need to mess with perfection. Do they put parsley on the plate with a $60 steak? Did Ed McMahon need to by a card to put the big Publisher’s Clearinghouse checks in? The moral of the story is that some things don’t need window dressing…and if they do you probably don’t want anything to do with them. That said, we reserve the right to continue to wear the bowtie around our man parts whenever we darned well please.

3) Jennifer Lopez: Anyone else know why she was hosting SNL? Anyone else know anything that she’s done since Gigli? Did she used to date Nomar? Was it A-Rod? We honestly can’t remember why she was famous.